The Discipleship ‘Secret’ We’ll Never Stop Practicing, Loving People into Their Design

After years of walking alongside others in the trenches of discipleship, here’s what we’ve learned, what we’ve lived, over and over again: real growth doesn’t come through performance, or even programs. It comes through love. Deep, steady, secure love. The kind of love that sees someone, and stays. That listens long enough to understand, reflects back to them who they truly are, even before they can see it for themselves.

We’ve seen time and time again that people don’t grow because we gave them a Bible study or a leadership opportunity. They grow because we built trust with them. Because we didn’t just love them in general, we loved them. Their quirks. Their questions. Their God-given wiring. Their untapped gifts. Their beautiful, unfinished story. We took the time to see what lights them up and to serve them in those places. We celebrated what God put in them and called it forth with kindness. And in that safe soil of relational connection, their roots started to deepen. Their hearts opened and healing and growth naturally just, began.

Discipleship, at its best, is not about trying to get someone to act more like Jesus, it’s helping them experience the love of Jesus through us so they can become who they already are in Him. It’s about being with someone long enough that they begin to believe they’re not alone, not too much, not broken beyond repair. They begin to discover their own voice, their own gifts, and their God-given passions, not because we told them who to be, but because we walked with them until they either discovered or remembered who they are.

This has transformed how we see discipleship. We don’t rush to teach or correct, we listen, linger, we prefer and honor their unique-ness . We serve people in the small, hidden parts of their story. We create space for joy, play, tears, and real talk. We honor their design, even when it’s still unfolding.

And the fruit is undeniable. When someone is known, loved, and championed into their design, they don’t just grow in head knowledge, they come alive. They bear fruit that lasts. They begin to make disciples out of that same love they’ve received, by giving away what they’ve received.

This is something we’ve come to hold close: that loving people well, being present with them, serving them in ways that matter, welcoming who they really are and making a place for what they bring, and walking patiently alongside them, is where true discipleship begins. We’ve seen the fruit of it too many times to turn back now. It’s become the quiet commitment in our hearts, the way we want to keep showing up.